Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Take that DOC!

This article is amazing! I wrote my own commentary at the bottom and it sums up very well how I feel about this. PLEASE- if this touches you in any way share it- including what I wrote at the bottom.-Meghan

I'm Sorry, Your Baby is Normal

by Bob Lincoln
Thursday, 6 February 2003

Warning: this article is intended to make a serious point in an interesting way. It is not meant to offend anyone, except possibly doctors.

I'm very sorry, I have the results of the genetic tests and they have confirmed our suspicions that your fetus is what we call... Normal. Some people prefer the terms "Ordinarily Challenged" or "Normal Syndrome". The syndrome can be easily identified by a complete lack of any interesting genetic characteristics. I know this will come as a shock to you, but you should be aware of what this is likely to mean.

If your fetus manages to survive the rest of the pregnancy and the birth, which is becoming more common these days, he or she will face some daunting challenges. Children who suffer from normalcy are prone to health and psychological problems. It is almost certain that the growing child will suffer a seemingly endless stream of viruses. They will frequently damage themselves, and sometimes others, from their excessive energy.

Their relentless demands will put a strain on your existing family and, of course, your relationship with your partner will suffer, and possibly end in a painful and acrimonious separation. Any children you already have, even if they also suffer from normalcy, will be jealous of the newcomer and all their extra attention. Many siblings are liable to be psychologically scarred by the new arrival.

I need hardly mention the financial consequences, although disastrous, they will be nothing compared to the emotional turmoil your life will suffer.

After a while, you may be lucky and find they can be kind and loving young children. They may find some temporary happiness in things such as music, dancing, food or playing with toys.

But if they survive early childhood, a Normal child is almost certain to grow into a Normal adolescent. Your years of sacrifice will be thrown back in your face as they become disobedient, wild and reckless. Unable to find happiness and contentment, they will treat you with contempt until they manage to leave home. Even then the suffering will continue as they will often return to try and extract money. They will blame you for their own faults and leave you bitter and twisted.

They may well become criminals, over a quarter of Normals will have trouble with the law, many will spend time in jail. Many will have problems with alcohol or drug abuse. Normal marriages are often unhappy and short and over half end in divorce.

Even if they become successful this is likely to be because of the often observed tendency of Normals towards excessive greed. The chances of them sharing their success with you are remote and they will tend to see you as an embarrassment.

Finally, Normal people are likely to die before their time. 23% will die of cancer, 33% of heart disease. Hundreds every year in this country alone are so distressed by their condition that they take their own life. I'm sorry to say that many will have had a lonely, painful and pointless existence.

I am afraid that Normal Syndrome is a genetic condition that affects every cell of the body, and so is impossible to cure.

Termination is an option.

Shall I book an appointment?

...from a parent who received a diagnosis rather like this.

Note from Meghan Wilkinson: Imagine if you were told all these things about YOUR baby. These are the things parents of children with DS are told all the time. Especially the part about termination. Think about this. REALLY take a moment to process that and THINK about what it would mean to you to hear these words. AWFUL right? WHY is it OK for doctors to frighten the parents of children with DS but they would never dream of saying these things to a parent pf a typical child? How many of the people serving life sentences in prison have Down syndrome? How many rapists, murderers, child molesters, crooked politicians, dictators, terrorists, drug addicts, wife beaters, alcoholics, drunk drivers, serial killers, kidnappers, perverts, slackers have an extra 21st chromosome? WHY is it considered a burden by so many to have a child with DS when the only thing that is GUARANTEED with a "typical" child is that they have potential. Look at it like this. I was a typical child and look what I am now. I am a stay at home mom who failed out of college because I chose to drink mass quantities of alcohol and not go to class. I then became a job hopping, debt accruing slack ass. I continued to drink and smoke and never lived up to ANY of my POTENTIAL. That was all true until I gave birth to MY MIRACLES and now I am trying to live up to the potential I had when I was born. Do you think that if the doctors knew what I would have done in my life to this point they would have suggested termination? My point is- no one's future is set in stone. I don't care how many chromosomes you have. You can have 46 like science says is perfect and DO NOTHING WITH YOUR LIFE. WAKE UP DOCTORS- PERFECTION is in the eye of the beholder and THIS mother is NOT going to stand for your insensitivity and biases any more. I'M FIGHTING BACK. The 90%+ abortion rate for babies with DS disgusts me and IT IS MOSTLY YOUR FAULT! QUIT SCARING women into thinking their lives will be forever ruined if their baby has DS. QUIT TAKING AWAY HOPE! God doesn't make mistakes- he does seem to make a whole lot of jerks that wear white coats, though.


Ms Carol said...

Hi Meghan, I just saw the blog's address again today. I keep losing it. Because it's getting late, I have time to only comment on this post, but it is absolutely awesome. Both the "letter" from the doc and your beautiful, loving, amazing response! Forgive me if I cannot believe you ever lived the life you describe as your younger self. God most assuredly knew what He was doing when he gave you the gift of these awesome and miraculous boys!! And his taking a chance on you has been repaid in spades!! Thanks so much for sharing all this! I'm going to spread the address around if you approve. It should be part of every HS'er's English course at least once in their 4 years of "education"! Blessings to all of you and Thank You God for steering me to Meghan's writing on The Upside of Downs early, just after the birth of your sons.

Jackie said...

Hi Meghan,
I am Jackie from posting on "the change up" reviews. Casey & Connor are so handsome. My little grandson's name is Cooper. Thats quite a coincidence that all their names start with C. I am also from Cleveland. I have lived in Las Vegas for over 20 yrs. Your mother-in-law told me about your blog. I will be a frequent visitor. This is a great way to talk & share experiences. My daughter is on a site called S.M.I.L.E. and enjoys it. There are many people with children of all sorts of disabilities on the site. Keep writing....God Bless you and your whole family.