Time gets away from me these days. When I think it's only been a week since I've last written I realize it's been several. I offer no excuses other than that life has been happening and very quickly!
Connor was hospitalized for 3 days after contracting a nasty stomach virus and becoming extremely dehydrated. That was our first time staying in a hospital and though it was not the best experience of my life it was great because the nurses and doctors at Akron Children's Hospital are far and away some of the most caring and fantastic people I have gotten to meet. They all went out of their way to care for my little man and for me as well. I was 33 weeks pregnant when he was there and they did all that they could to ensure I was well hydrated and comfortable. I am grateful for all that was done for my family!
Speech is progressing slowly but surely. While they only have a few real words they are responding more and more to the things Matthew and I say or ask of them. For example, they can both point out their noses, heads, belly buttons and mouths. Also they are mimicking animal sounds now. They can tell you a what a wolf says, that an alligator says chomp, chomp, chomp (with awesome hand motions!) and they do a mean monkey impression. We are working on the cow say "moo" but M is one of those sounds that they just don't get consistently. It'll come.
I am now 36 weeks pregnant with Reagan and I am at the point where I really want to be done being pregnant and actually meet my little girl. I find myself wondering very often who she is and what she will be like. It's an exciting thing, imagining your unborn child. I can't wait for her arrival and for her to meet Casey and Connor and for them to become big brothers. It will be nothing short of fantastic.
This is what I really came to write about today. I have talked about the dreams I have for my children but never do I really think what dreams I have for myself- unless I am actually dreaming.
Last night I had this really great dream where I was talking to a group of people about Casey and Connor and Down syndrome. I explained that they are the greatest joy in my life and that to be their mother is to be blessed beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I told stories of adults with DS who are doing amazing things in their lives and that with support and love all our children could be capable of living their lives to the absolute fullest. I talked of my faith and how C&C strengthened my belief in God. It was a great speech. In the dream, there was a sweet lady, older, who was crying and crying while I spoke. I asked her why she was crying. She told me that she had found out a few days prior that her grandchild was going to have Down syndrome and she had been so depressed and sad thinking about her. She was not originally planning to come to hear me speak (wherever that may have been) but was brought by a friend. She held my hands in her hands and with tears pouring down her cheeks she told me that I changed her life and her opinion of her granddaughter to be. She no longer feared her but she looked forward to becoming an advocate and telling people that her granddaughter is a blessing.
So overcome was I by emotion I cried with her. I felt like I had really made a difference in her world and the world at large.
What an incredible feeling!
When I woke up I felt like all of that had actually happened. I wanted it to actually happen.
My dream for me is to make as much difference in the world as I possibly can. Not just for Casey and Connor but for Reagan and for every single child in the world. I hate the stigma attached to the diagnosis. I want to help break the walls down, pull the curtains back and reveal the beauty of the life that can be achieved with faith, support and love.
I am starting small on that dream through this blog and the boys' fan page on FaceBook and sharing them with the everyone I can but I dream of finding a way to make a bigger impact. I will continue searching. Some day I will wake up feeling like I am living my dream rather than just experiencing it while I am sleeping.
Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.