Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Hey! Guess what! I'm not perfect. And it's ok!

There was a brief period of time recently when I debated quitting my blog. I felt  like I just wasn't making the time to do it justice and I feel like I am just halfheartedly trying to keep up. Then I really started thinking about deleting the whole thing. I really needed to explore the reason behind wanting to quit. Was it HONESTLY because I don't have the time? Certainly I am busy but too busy to sit for 20 minutes and bang out a few hundred words to share the joys and trials of this magical ride I am on with people all over the world- some of whom may be searching for just the tiniest bit of comfort that their newly diagnosed baby will one day be ok? Then I felt selfish. And lazy. And like a failure. My goodness! I am really harsh with myself sometimes. And thus this post.

I know I can not be the only mom in the world that feels like life is full of "Should do's" "Have To's" "Want To's" and "Not a chance that will happens". I'm good with the have to's- I have to do laundry and cook because I have a family and it is my job to care for them- but those things also fall under the want to's because I WANT TO be a good wife and mother and I WANT to care for my husband and our kids.  I have even gotten to a point where I accept the "Not a chance that will happens" because I have come to terms with the fact I am NOT a superhero. There is no way I can keep my house spotless and well organized- I have 3 small tornadoes that make short work of my cleaning. I CAN keep things neat but not perfect. Well, I could keep things perfectly clean but other things would suffer- like playing outside with my kids. I have to ask myself- what matters more? A shiny, spotless floor or that one day my kids can say, "Hey mom, remember when we painted the porch with water and paintbrushes and then we took off our shoes and socks and splashed in the water? That was fun!" I have learned the balancing act to some extent.

But then there are the should do's. Of all the things in my life that get to me it's the should do's. Things I should do but typically don't and feel ridiculously guilty about. I should work out everyday. I should write for the blog at least twice a week. I should clean the basement. I should find time to volunteer more. I should really make plans for the summer so I can make sure the boys are developing in the areas where they are behind. I should go to play dates. I should just quit sucking at things. I should dedicate myself to my home business. And on. And on. And on. And at the end of the day when I am trying to go to sleep all I find myself thinking of is all that I SHOULD HAVE gotten accomplished and how guilty I feel for failing.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do any of us? As I stated earlier- I KNOW I am not the only one who berates herself for not being that mom. The one who always seems to be on top of her game. The one who manages the household budget, Girl Scout troops, bake sales and is active in her church, at her kids schools and in her community. The one who always looks great, is running off to Zumba, while selling record setting amounts of Tastefully Simple or Partylite candles (or in my case ACE and Saba products) and somehow she is always on time and never looks frazzled. Always a smile on her face, never yelling at her perfectly mannered children. And on top of it all she has amazing dates with her husband and still somehow manages to find time for herself to craft and write a blog with thousands of followers.

And then it hit me! That mom doesn't actually exist! You may be thinking "Wait! What? This woman is crazy!" But I'm not and I am right. There are NO mothers out there who can do EVERYTHING. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Every mom has moments where her patience is tested and she has days where she just feels like a failure. We will all have the "time out in the middle of the zoo" days. That's why they make wine. In all seriousness, perfection is in the eye of the beholder. The mom I look at with envy and awe is just as screwy as I am and has just as many moments of self doubt and thoughts of her own incompetence. To all the people who have called me a supermom- haha! Fooled ya!

So, realizing I am not the only who falls short of their ideas of what makes a good mom I now know as long as I am trying- moving forward and doing my best I don't have to do everything! I just have to do what I can. WHAT A BREAKTHROUGH!!!! I don't have to be PERFECT. I just have to try my best and love my kids and husband and remember to be thankful for all that I have. I can handle that.

I even made an e-card for this post! This is serious!

So, in light of this recent revelation I have decided to keep my blog and write when I can. I'll get here when I can and share my ramblings and smiles and lots of pictures of the kids who inspire me to try to be the best mom possible. 

AND I will encourage other moms to realize their value and their contributions to their households, their kids and the larger world there. So, great job moms! If you got up today and hugged yoiur kids and made them feel important and worthwhile you are already a success. If you didn't do that yet, the day is long- take the next chance you get to love your kids and make them realize you try your best because they matter.

Oh, yeah- be nice to yourself, too. You have a big job to do and you are doing great.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is such a great example of why I totally LOVE you! You are who you are and it's REAL! I am so glad our paths in life have crossed and we are getting the opportunity to know each other and for me to know those wonderful kids of your!